It happens and you can’t avoid it.  Sometimes you implement it, sometimes it launches itself out of the ocean and smacks you hard in the face with a slimy cold fin.

At present I’m experiencing the latter and it’s really knocked me.  I feel like a deflated balloon, teddy with the stuffing ripped out and dragged through a prickly hedge backward, all rolled into one.  I don’t sleep well, I can’t think straight and my goal of focusing on the writing has washed away with my tears.

Happy 40th birthday to me.  How about we start off your year by potentially making you redundant and unemployed.  Thank you for 19 years service, now there’s the door.

I didn’t see it coming, I really didn’t.  I felt pretty safe in my routine life bubble.  Now like a fat shiny needle, its burst and I have to re-evaluate everything in my life.

If I’ve learned anything from this experience, it is that no matter how hard you work, how much blood, sweat and tears you give, you’re just a number.  Worthless and dispensable to the fat cats with their bulging pockets of cash and happy bonuses.

Change is not always good, needed or wanted, and my thoughts go out to all the colleagues in the same sinking boat as I am.



Feature Photo by Ross Findon on Unsplash



  1. Liking a post like this doesn’t seem quite right. I hope the turbulent times you find yourself in settle to reveal new opportunities you weren’t expecting but are good. In meantime keep writing, I find it can be good way to release the angst out xxx take care

    Liked by 1 person

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